Silent Confessions
by American Fantasy
Summary: Tom confesses something on an away mission, that even Chakotay cannot deny.


_A/N: Written for VAMB Secret Drabble 2012_

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"I don't want to get home. Here in the Delta Quadrant, I have so much freedom."

The words echoed throughout Chakotay's head like a gun in the night, as he stared at the pile of cards in the centre of them. His face frozen from any emotional response, staring only at the pair of Jacks, Tom had previously placed down.

There were only a few moments in Chakotay's life which he could say that he had been truly surprised. This was one of them.

It had been five years.

Five years since they were stranded in the Delta Quadrant, more than 70,000 light years from the Federation. Though their journey to the Alpha Quadrant still remained a distant Voyage, they never stopped trying; optimistically waiting for the day when they would finally reach home. Even if that journey took ten, twenty or thirty odd years.

Surrendering a pair of Kings from his hand, Chakotay placed it on top of the existing cards. His eyes refusing to look up at Tom's. Tom gave a slow head shake, and Chakotay wiped the cards from the centre, placing a Queen of hearts down in exchange.

Three or perhaps two years ago, Chakotay would have laughed at the absurdity of Tom's confession. But as the years went by, each one bringing another milestone to their journey, Chakotay began to realize that they were more than just a crew who were thrust into each others lives by an unforeseen event. They were a family. A family, who shared their triumphant's, their fears, their losses, and their laughter. Until now, Chakotay hadn't anticipated how much Tom had considered Voyager his home, and in that respect, how many of the crew did?

What would happen if a wormhole to the Alpha Quadrant were to open up tomorrow? How many of the crew would actually be happy about it? or sad that what they had known for the past five years would soon be, but a memory?

Chakotay looked at Tom. Remembering how he had frowned a little at first when Janeway informed him of his impending away mission with a certain blond haired, cocky pilot. Though however aware that they had long put their differences aside, she knew that they had yet to cross that barrier from professionalism to personal. Noting the cunning look in her eyes, but not calling her up on her hidden agenda, Chakotay like the loyal first officer that he was, accepted the assignment.

Tom sighed silently, staring absently at the cards he held, which was abundantly clear to him now, that the odds were not in his favor. Almost as soon as the words escaped his lips, Tom felt relief wash over him. Though he and Chakotay had never been close friends, once even considering each other enemies, it was comforting to know that after all these years, he could confide in the man he had once betrayed.

There was Harry, the young Ensign who had become his best friend. Though their friendship extended to all conversations and secrets, this was one that he could not share with him. For if anyone knew Harry Kim, they would know that no one wanted to get home more than he did.

Chakotay could honestly say that he had respect for Tom. He had grown up since his short lived days in the Maquis. A criminal in a penal colony with a distant and troubled relationship with his father, was all he left the Alpha Quadrant with.

The Delta Quadrant, had offered Tom something that Earth was doubtful to provide.

A second chance.

Clearing his mind to find the words to comfort Tom, Chakotay found that he had none. Thinking deeply about why he could not find the words to respond, he soon realized that if he was being honest with himself; he didn't want to get home either.

Placing his last remaining card on top of the pile, Chakotay rightfully claimed the title of winner.

After packing up the cards, both Chakotay and Tom stood, but before Tom could head to his station, Chakotay rested a gentle hand on Tom shoulder, that unbeknownst to him, offered him far more comfort than words could ever convey.

Taking his own station, Chakotay stared out into the star lit sky, before a wandering eye caught sight of Tom, working diligently behind the helm.

"Me too," he whispered silently. "Me too."


End file.
